Children See and Hear…and Some Times Walk Away
Psalm 127:3 “Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.”

Again today I heard of a teenager who left their Christian home. They were raised in a home where God was proclaimed and served by all members of the family. The family was in the pew every time there was a service or activity, tithes were paid, offerings given and missionaries supported and prayed for. And yet…the teen-ager had enough and walked away.

I’m sure some people question this teen-ager’s salvation. I’m sure others assign the teen a rebellious spirit. Some may say the teen hated his parents and hated his God. But are those things the only things that should be in question? Are there other reasons that may shed light on this all-too-common situation?

Some of our readers may not like what I am about to say. However, a very godly aged Christian woman who worked with young adults for years and years in a college setting woke me up to some very common reasons young people just walk away from home and the life-style of their Christian parents. Remember: From the time children are very young, they see and hear everything…and store it in their minds. When they get old enough they evaluate what they have stored, using it to make life-choices for themselves. Please consider the following all-too-common types of input which may be used for this evaluation process:

•When mom and/or dad are talking to other people children do not turn off their hearing. On an almost daily basis, this is one of the most common problems I am made aware of. I am often horrified over what children are hearing their parents speak. I grew up in a godless home and I absolutely hated to hear my mother talk over the kitchen table or on the telephone and degrade people she knew. The worst time to me was when she talked horribly about my father to her friends. I always felt a tearing inside while trying to evaluate who was right and who was wrong.

•Bickering and fighting using painful words. You will notice I said “using painful words.” The Bible says life and death are in the power of the tongue and, yet inside of their homes, too many Christians don’t live this Truth. By the time too many children raised in Christian homes are teens they are mortally wounded by words…wounded and bleeding. And yet, adults almost never consider guarding what children hear from infancy; words forever etched on the hard drives of their minds. The wrong or hurtful things children do hear, Satan can bring back to their remembrance as negative words or feelings…using them as fiery arrows of destruction.

•Parents doing church work with a wrong attitude is not a healthy memory for a child to possess. Hurrying, scurrying, complaining, controlling and showing anger while doing projects to ‘serve the Lord’ leaves a detrimental and indelible word picture that causes many teens to quit living like a Christian. Several years ago I had a young teen tell me she was done living like a Christian because when she got married she wanted a sweeter and kinder home for her children. Immature thinking…but teens are immature Christians, not adults.

•Serving God and the church at the expense of spending quality time with the family and training the children is not God’s will. I drove a school van for many years when my own children were in school. In so many ways I have heard young children and teens say that God took their mom and dad away from them. I have heard the anger for God in their voices and seen it on their faces as I looked at them in the rear view mirror. Children hear and see when family priorities are out of order--and they often feel rejected and angry. God’s priority list is: God, spouse, family, church, others and other interests.

•Children take notice when parents give to special church projects when there is literally not enough food in the house or clothes to wear. I have known too many children from Christian homes who have lived in houses without adequate food, heat and and/or lights during mid-west winters because their fathers were sacrificially giving to an extra church project. Before you start justifying this, try and filter the situation through a child’s mind. And remember, not meeting a child’s basic living needs is considered neglect, which is one form of child abuse.
I could continue but I think I have left us all with enough to think about.

I am 59 years old and I have known many teens who, after they sat and evaluated the years of ‘doings’ inside of their Christian homes, decided they didn’t want to live the way of mom and dad for the rest of their lives. They reached an ‘if that’s Christianity I don’t want it’ conclusion. Most of the teens who have come to me did not have a rebellious nature and really loved their moms and dads. Most of them were very sensitive children who could just not process the teachings of God in the Bible with the atmosphere and happenings in their homes.

Always remember God created the family before the church. And the calling of a parent is to “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” (Proverbs 22:6) This training is to take place from the time the child gets up in the morning until he goes to sleep at night. Daily the question should be, am I training them in ways that will cause them to desire and to plan to serve the God of my home?